The Health | november, 2019
18
WOMEN
Fynn, her
husband
Tri, and
their
adopted
son Juna
prior to her
wearing
the burqa.
A happy family portrait taken from Fynn’s
Instagram page @fynnjamal.
Living with infertility
Infertility rate has risen in the last few decades. How does one tackle the issue?
Fynn Jamal discusses her life story of infertility and adoption
Facts on
infertility
E
veryone’s definition of ‘starting a
family’ differs from one another.
While some find solace in having
their partner by their side, some find
having children to be the ultimate
goal of marriage – to continue their
legacy in the world, to carry their family
values and virtues.
However, when it comes to bearing a child,
not everyone is capable. When it comes to
infertility, women are often blamed by the
society.
‘Unable to provide the husband with
a child’ is often one of the most common
blames to the wives – making them insecure.
Therefore, not everyone is vocal about their
situation.
Overcoming through adoption
Singer-songwriter Nur Affina Yanti Jamallu-
din, known as Fynn Jamal, is a proud mother
of two adopted children. Unable to bear her
own children, she adopted Bakti Arjuna Fitri
(Juna) in 2012 and the beautiful Sakti Kecana
Fitri (Sakti) five years later.
Says Fynn: “I’ve had problems with my
periods since I was in secondary school. It was
painful to say the least. I’m always writhing
in pain from my heavy bleeding. This leads
to me being anaemic and having low blood
pressure.”
Fynn went to get her fertility tested after
marrying fellow singer Tri Hadzir (Tri). To no
surprise, her doctor confirmed she was never
going to get pregnant.
“Before getting married, I told my husband
(then boyfriend) Tri I might not be able to
bear children for him. I was insecure, afraid it
would be a deal breaker for him.”
A man's love for her
“He said: ‘I’m not marrying you because I want
children. I’m marrying you to have a partner,
a best friend to experience the ups and downs
of life with me’. He also said he was open to
the idea of adopting a child with me.”
Adopting to life after Juna
Swallowing the truth pill, the couple opted
OPTIMISTIC:
Fynn prefers to
look at life with
what she has rather
than what she
could or could not
have.
• Up to 80 million people around the
world are affected by infertility, with one
in 10 couples facing fertility issues.
• In developing countries, this impact is
greater, with one in four couples found
to be affected by infertility.
• Both male and female factors
contribute equally to infertility.
• At birth, women have about two million
eggs in their ovaries. This is the entire
supply of eggs for a lifetime. As women
age, the number of eggs suitable for a
viable pregnancy decreases in quantity
and quality.
• Being heavily overweight or even
severely underweight can have
negative consequences for one’s ability
to conceive. Obesity, for instance, can
interfere with normal hormone function
and overall fertility.
• Common causes of infertility among
women are hormonal issues, structural
issues, and diminished ovarian reserve.
While in men, it is generally low sperm
count.
for adoption.
“Adoption is a privilege. It’s not a simple
decision to be made willy-nilly. It has to be
done at the right time, with stable financial
state.
“There were plenty of times when I wanted
to adopt a child but I wasn’t ready. I didn’t
want to raise a child when I wasn’t ready
spiritually and financially,” she continues.
Fynn says her life completely changed after
Juna joined the family.
“Juna was supposed to be born in June
– thus the name. But God works in mysteri-
ous ways. He came out in May when I was
overseas.
“I watched him sleep through Skype for
hours every day. When I got back, I held him
for the first time and I knew that I’m going to
love him until the end of time.”
Life-changing experience
Juna’s addition to the family made an impact
on Fynn – psychologically and spiritually.
According to Fynn, a lot changed after adopt-
ing Juna.
She made life modifications to find time
in her busy schedule to be with Juna. Her
young son helped her look at life in a brand
new perspective.
Three weeks into birth, Juna was diagnosed
with a congenital heart abnormality. Fynn
can still recall the moment when the doctor
wheeled her young son into the operating
theatre.
“The doctor looked me in the eye. He said:
‘You understand that there’s a chance that he
might not survive this, right?’ That was when
I realised that I loved the creation more than
I love the creator. That was when I decided
to devote my life and existence to the
Al-Mighty.”
A challenge of her own
When Juna was diagnosed with autism, Fynn
says she was in denial.
“Then I realised this was not about me.
Everything became about trying to help him
adapt with his special condition. And Islam
promised paradise for special people like
Juna.
“The only way I can see him after my demise
is to work myself towards going to paradise. It
made me change for the better. If it wasn’t for
the family that I have, I would probably still
be in a stray path,” she adds.
To the married couples who are strug-
gling with infertility, Fynn has this to say:
“Redefine your happiness. Ask yourself, is
it something that you really want? Or is
it something that everyone wants you to
want? To the husbands out there, you have
an important role to play. You are the anchor
to your wife. As long as you have each other,
you can redefine what makes you happy.” —
The Health